A
Adventures in
Space and Time (US 1999) -
Alan Davies:
Urban Trauma (UK 1998) - comedy routine by Alan Davies (Jonathan Creek)
filmed at the Duchess Theatre in London. REF??
Amazing
Race, The (US 2001 reality) - [1] One
of the shows contestants is a big Star Wars fan... [2]
Contestants are in Tatahouine. The New York contestants are the only
ones to make a comment on the Star Wars connection. [3]
The Star Wars super collector, Brennan Swain, won along with pal Rob.
Undertaking a grueling trek around the globe (including one stop in
Tunisia where they visited "Tatouine") and facing various
physical and mental challenges, the pair beat 10 other teams to win the
$1 million dollar grand prize (That's enough to buy a Vlix and a half he
he)!
American Chopper
(US 2003) - Comanche 3
- 4/21/05 Paul
jr.: You know, it's kind of funny because we're really pushing to get
this bike done... >> That is hot. >> Paul jr.: It just
reminds me of, like, Star Wars. ...But it doesn't seem like there's as
much pressure as usual. I think it's probably 'cause my father's not
here making comments and putting his two cents in.
American Idol - 4/26/05 Simon
to a contestant:
It's
like
Star Wars, you know. Welcome to the dark side, or the light side.
And what it came across to me was a very bad imitation of the original.
America's
Funniest Videos (US 2003) - $100,000
Show A
get-together/competition at a lake involving a short pier and a device
that propels the contestants/participants off of that pier. One
contestant is cheered on by a friend who urges him to, "use the
Force!"
Anderson
Cooper 360 (US ) - So here's a Pop quiz for
you tonight. Tonight you're watching a scene right now from, A) Return
of the Jedi, B) Revenge of the Sith or, C) a
political convention. See the battle between good and evil in the Star
Wars Saga is grossing over from a galaxy far away to the universe of raw
politics. Judy Woodruff. REPORTER: A few days
ago in a land not so far away the Cannes crowd looked at Darth Vader and
saw George Bush. When Anakin Skywalker said, "If you are not
with me, you are my enemy" ..some movie goers heard this.. *Bush
quote* - "Either you are with us or you are with the
terrorists". REPORTER: ...and in the epic clash of
galactic powers they saw the war in Iraq. Were they
right? George Lucas says the original Star Wars movie sprung from
the ashes of Vietnam making Vader a little less Bush and a little more
Nixon. Though he's quick to draw connections. The parallels
of what we're doing in Iraq and Vietnam are unbelievable.
REPORTER: at its heart it has always been a political parable.. Why
do you think Ronald Reagan called the Soviet Union an evil empire?
I fare cuts in the defense budget and carrier groups and troops in
Europe and Star Wars and any number of areas. REPORTER: Even
in these dark days with an earthly senate..one senator seduced by a
dark vision of absolute power seeks to destroy this fabled order
replacing fair judges with far right Clones. To do this, he's
ready to use a nightmare weapon known as the nuclear option. REPORTER:
Yes, that's senate majority leader Bill Frist. The liberal group
movon.org is spending $150,000 to run that ad. "Don't make me
destroy you!" REPORTER: Revenge of the Sith will surely make ten
times that sum by next week. With or without the Force.
"I hope right you are" REPORTER: Judy Woodruff, CNN,
Washington.
Android
Prophecy (UK) - Star Wars/Anthony
Daniels/C3PO mentioned. C3PO based on Metropolis' female robot Maria (Futura)
released in 1927.
Antiques
Roadshow ( UK 1979-????) - A Scottish boy
has a collection of Star Wars figures in a shadowbox. At the end of his
'showing' he says "May the Force Be With You" (very sweet)
B
Beat the
Geeks (US 2001-2002 GS) - [1]
There is a Star Wars Geek guest about every
other show. Here is one example: Linda (Star Wars Geek) saw Star Wars
over 200 times the year of it's release. She met her husband at a 20th
anniversary event. She wears Jedi Robes. Her wedding picture includes a
best man dressed as Chewbacca Q: What gold droid is fluent in over 6
million forms of communication? A:C3P0 Q: What was Han Solo's response
when Leia told him she loved him? A: I know. Q: What is Anakin's last
name? A: Skywalker Q: Name as many of the Ewoks as you can that were in
ROTJ A: she could only get two. Q: Han Solo killed Greedo on Tatooine ,
who did he work for? A: Jabba the Hutt The Final Challenge: Q's: What
kind of Droids did Maul dispatch? Before settling on R2 what droid did
Owen get? Who played Amidala? Who played Grand Moff Tarkin? Name the
Ewok that stole the Imperial Speeder Bike in ROTJ? What pit holds the
Sarlacc? [2]
on another episode the Q was: What ship does Chewbacca pilot? A: Millennium
Falcon
Best Week Ever
(US 2004) - April
7, 2004
Showing NASA Staff excited about the Mars rover. One of the comedians
says, "it's kind of like the Ewok celebration at the end of Return
of the Jedi, but hairier"
Big Breakfast UK
(UK 1999) -
Game show on the program called "Star
Bores"
with special guest Billy Dee Williams. Some excerpts: Billy Dee Williams
appeared on Channel 4's Big Breakfast in the UK, promoting the Black
Film Makers Festival and his new film "The Visit". The
presenter, Richard Bacon showed the clip where Han Solo & Lando
Calrissian meet up on Cloud City in the Empire Strikes Back, resulting
in the following exchange, to which there was much laughter:
RB: That's the
scene where you double cross Han Solo. BDW: I didn't double cross Han
Solo.
RB: Yes you did.
BDW: We don't want to have to get into this whole discussion. RB:
Alright mate.
BDW: Takes too
long to explain
Richard Bacon
then asked him what he thought of The Phantom Menace, which resulted in
the following revealing exchange:
BDW: I really
didn't see all of it, I just saw a little bit of it. The only character
I don't like in that is Jar Jar.
RB: I hate Jar
Jar.
BDW: Jar Jar
makes me nervous ... but I think the kids probably love Jar Jar though
... you have to be a kind of a frenetic kinda person to like Jar Jar.
The funniest bit
of the interview was a quiz entitled "Star Bores", in which 3
Star Wars fans were asked Star Wars questions by Billy Dee Williams. The
catch being the 2 losers would have to give the winner treasured items
from their Star Wars collections. It's not everyday you see British Star
Wars fans on UK Breakfast TV, so we figured we'd give them 15 minutes of
fame (or humiliation when you see what some of them couldn't answer):
Contestant No 1
Adrian -
"I've brought 2 of the final figures from the old line that were
ever to come off the factory line."
Contestant No 2
William -
"I've brought this collection of conceptual art prints which are
very rare, very hard to get a hold off now, almost impossible"
Contestant No 3
Dan - "I've
got this Boba Fett poster and it's signed by Jeremy Bulloch who played
Boba Fett in the films."
Billy Dee fired
off the following questions in 60 seconds:
How did Luke
smuggle his lightsaber into Jabba's palace?
What are double
bladed lightsabers used by the Jedi for?
In the Empire
Strikes Back, what attacked Luke on Hoth?
Who was in
command of the 2nd Death Star?
Who was in
charge of the Trade Federation?
How did Han Solo
win the Millennium Falcon?
What planet is
Han Solo from?
Big
Brother UK (UK 2001) - [1]
They had a fish named Darth Vader. Which,
incidentally died in June 2001. [2] A
participant in BB is a SW fan [3] The
Star Wars fan on Big Brother was ousted this week, 3rd week of June
2003, and escorted by Darth Vader and a Stormtrooper (from the UK
division of the 501st). [4]
June 2004 After
a trick of cold water in the shower there is a lightsaber fight.
Big Guns Talk:
The Story of the Western (1997) - Star
Wars is considered a western.
Bill Nye
the Science Guy (US 1993) - Balance:
Balance Wars (#2.2) 1997 Bill Nye's going
to use the force to pull you into the world of balance. A force is
a push or a pull. You can feel a force when someone pushes
you. You can use a force to pull a door shut. Anyone can
make forces by pushing and pulling, and you don't need to be Luke
Skywalker to use a force. A young "Luke" uses the Force
to climb a balance beam and get a baby "Yoda."
Blind Date
(US 1999 GS) - [1]
In this episode one of the men that went out on a date was named Obi and
they continued to make references to star wars some examples were: They
had little graphics flying though shooting just like the dogfights in
Star Wars. On the date they went to a batting cage and they super
imposed a green glow over the bat and made lightsaber noises in the
background. One of the date segments was called the "phantom
chicken menace." And at the end the host says "well I guess
the Force was not with them on that date." [2]
On the date, the couple went into a collector's store and the guy picked
up a 12" Boba Fett figure (the same one I own). Sadly, the girl
said she had never seen Star Wars and the guy was a bit disappointed.
Later in the date, the Boba Fett figure made another appearance as a
graphic, saying "I was better in Return of the Jedi"
C
CBS News
(2000) - Dan Rather refers to the
astronauts building the space station, as 'Skywalkers'
Celebrity
Death Match (US Anim) - Mark Hamill vs.
Peter Mayhew; Ford vs. Jackson.
Collectible
Treasures 2001 - Showcasing Pez dispensers.
Showed signed poster of Chewbacca and signed Pez dispensers of C3PO,
Darth Vader and Boba Fett, and stating just at that time that some are
valued at over each (there are over 400 distinct Pez dispensers)
Conan
O'Brien, Late Night with (US Chat) - [1]
A skit with Yoda and other Star Wars
characters (anyone with the correct info please help!!) [2]
TPM reference Apr
1999 [3] 2001
Conan uses closed-captioning in a skit. The
closed-captioning becomes a chat room, 'Hey, do any of you guys have the
new version of Star Wars: Episode 1?' (regarding the 'Phantom Edit' ) [4]
Oct 31, 2001 -
The audience was dressed up for Halloween and they showed one who was
dressed up as Chewbacca. Conan, says, 'Awww, Chewbacca's here EVERY
night!' like it's nothing...hehe. [5]
May 2002 Today
20th Century Fox announced that they overestimated the receipts of
"Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of The Clones." They
overestimated by about $6 million. Yeah, and they said it was a really
stupid mistake because they figured in that fans would bring along
dates. [6] May
2002 "Star Wars Episode Two: Attack of
The Clones" opened last night. Die-hard fans that had been camped
out for weeks were finally able to see it. The best part about the movie
was the fight scene; the worst part about the movie was sitting next to
someone who had camped out for weeks. [7] Last
night on Conan O'Brien, there was a mildly Star Wars-esque reference.
Conan was talking to Saddam Hussein via his magical television where
only the mouths of famous people move. Saddam said something to the
effect that of course he couldn't be dead. He has to be alive for
"Part 3: Attack of the Kurds" and said that in the sequel he
will reveal himself to be George W. Bush's father. [8]
2002 "George
Lucas is giving the band N'Sync cameos in the upcoming Star Wars movie.
Apparently because he wanted C3PO to look less gay " [9]
June 15, 2004
Guy playing Cheney, in a short skit, is having difficulty breathing, he
goes to put on an oxygen mask then immediately proceeds to breathe and
talk like Vader with very midi-like Star Wars music playing in the
background. [10] 1/25/05
The actor -- any "star
wars" Fans here? [ Applause ] lookin' at
pocket protectors. [ In nasal voice ] "I hear you, Conan
O'Brien!" [ Laughter ] the actor who plays C-3Po in the
"star wars"
movies just filmed his very last scene ever in a "star
wars" movie. Said that it made him very
Sad. [ Audience aws ] apparently, they're aren't that many roles that
call for a gay robot. [ Laughter ] "I'll just be a gay robot
someplace else." How hard could it be?[11]
3/30/05
Carrie Fisher who pled -- pled. Who played
Princess Leia in the original "star wars"
Movies says she's going to write a tell-all Book about all of the sex
that took place on the set. [ Cheers ] she's Al a companion Book
for "star wars"
Fans that explains what sex is. [ Laughter and applause ]
[12] 4/2/05
(part of monologue)
This is the latest on the "star
wars"ovie that's about to come out.
Director George Lucas says that people should not bring kids to the
newest "star wars"
movie. Should not bring kids. Yeah. After hearing this, "star
wars" Fans said, "kids? We've never
even had girlfriends. [13] 4/9/05
I gotta talk about this. The other day at
the Michael Jackson trial, which I am following very closely, it was
revealed that one of the items in Michael's bedroom is a life-size
replica of C-3Po from "star wars."
[ Scattered cheers ] he has a life-size C-3Po in his bedroom. Yeah,
Jackson's C-3Po looks like the one in the movie, except his is Bent over
at the waist. [ Audience groans ] [ cheers and applause ] wow. [14] 4/15/05
One thing -- >> Conan: yes! [
Laughter ] I Hope you don't mind, a brought light sabers. Let's do it in
slower motion and we also need the sound. [ Both make "star
wars" sound effects ] >> imagine
Conan: you're Darth Vader. So I want to hear some Darth Vader [breathes
deeply..imitates Darth Vader] Conan: and then zoing! [laughter]
next, you're going to teach me how to throw somebody..."
(Star Wars theme music is played)
[15] 4/26/05
Conan: "30,000
people attended the Star Wars Celebration 3... and it was the highest
concentration of celibate men other than the inauguration of Pope
Benedict XVI" [16]
4/29/05 Hey,
this weekend at a "star wars"
convention -- this is big news -- at a "star
wars" Convention, fans voted and said
their favorite alien life forms are wookiees. Yeah. [ Cheers and
applause ] yeah. Yeah, "star wars"
fans said their second favorite alien life forms are women.
[17] 4/30/05 Conan:
"I plan to see the new "Star Wars" movie - "
Harrison Ford wrote, "at a red-carpet premiere in L.A. "
Carrie Fisher wrote, "at a Gala Charity event." Mark Hamill
wrote, "when Mr. D'Angelo says the grill is clean enough, and I can
go...[laughter and ooohs] it's at Denny's, interestingly enough,
too" ..."speaking of "Star Wars" - "If I were
real, I would - " "If I were real, I would _" C-3P0
wrote, "work with the underprivileged" [laughter]
Wait
a minute, wait a minute. That's the "star wars"
fan. Why is that "star wars"
fan there? Sir? >> Isn't this the line for "revenge of the
sith"? [ Frankenstein's groan ] no! Ahh! [ Applause ] [ "star
wars" fan screams ] >> Conan: all
right. While they're murdering him, we'll take a break.
[18] 5/4/05
(monologue) [19] 1/22/05
Author Tariq Nasheed: This is why the book
is called The Mack Within (Conan: Yes) Tariq: Give it up, man! All
these macks! Conan: it's like a - it's a Jedi Principal.
It's channeling that Mack within you, right? [light laughter]
okay, forget it. I won't talk. You go [laughter] probably, Star
Wars references don't help. Tariq: No, that's not macking
[laughter] Conan (nerdy): Kind of like on Star Trek when they went
to Romulan 9. [20] 5/20/05
About the film Revenge of the Sith: CONAN: Jedi
are dying all over the place. So with all this going on, why would
anyone of us care about Yoda's head Lice problem? [ Laughter ] a lot of
the movie's about Yoda's head Lice problem. They're terrible scenes.
Take a look. >> Anakin does not take to his new assignment with
much enthusiasm. >> It's very dangerous putting them together. [
Laughter ] I don't think he can handle it. [ Laughter ] ROTS clip:
maybe he's not the chosen one. does he not bring balance to the
Force? That's what the prophecy said. [cheers and
applause] CONAN: I don't want to give anything
away, but that's two-thirds of the movie [laughter] he goes and
gets a cream and that doesn't work. It's not good. All
right, now some people who aren't Star Wars fans wonder why they devote
so much of their lives to a series of movies. Well, the answer is
pretty simple. Awkward and less athletic people sometimes feel
inferior to muscular jock types. And they'll search out other
areas in which they can excel and outperform those more popular
guys. With this in mind, we'd like to present the Star Wars geeks
worst nightmare, the jock who knows as much about Star Wars as a geek
[laughter and applause] JOCK: You know, the original Jabba
action figure came with a vinyl cape. The cloth robe was added a
little later. GIRLS: Oh! Ah! [applause]
CONAN: ...was pretty much me [laughter] with a few changes. Now, a
lot of toys have come out in conjunction with the Star Wars
movies. Probably the most popular is a talking Yoda doll.
Everyone loves to get this talking Yoda doll. You squeeze his hand
and he dispenses mystical wisdom. But be careful. There are
a lot of bootleg versions of this doll out there that they're selling on
the street, like this one right here. And they're just not the
same. Listen to this bootleg Yoda right here. YODA
DOLL: Hey, How YOU doing? I'm Yada the puppet from the movie
and... Hey, dad, the pizza man's here! Don't come in
to daddy's room without knocking! I'm recording the yada thing!
[21] 5/18/05
Conan to a
"guest" SW fan: So, Tim, by the way, what's grievous? Is
that a "star wars" character? >> Yeah, that's General
Grievous, a cyborg who hunts Jedi. [ Applause ]
[22]
5/26/05 Revenge
of the Sith, everyone is talking about it because everyone knows the big
reason for the film's popularity is all of the great Star Wars
characters like R2-D2, Darth Vader, Yoda. People love those
characters, that's why they see the films. Many people don't know
that there were several characters that were acturally cut out of the
new Star Wars movie. [laughter] true story. Yeah,
apparently, George Lucas has tried very hard to sweep these failed
characters under the rug. He doesn't want anyone to know about
them. It's like stuff that they tried, it didn't work, they cut it
out of the film. He wants them to go away. Our
first rejected Star Wars character is a Wookiee with deep-felt religious
beliefs dating back to the old testament. Please welcome, Jewbacca!!
[laughter] You guys like it! The nerds are mad now.
[speaking in nerd voice] ...it's CHEWbacca, not Jewbacca! I'll bet
a lot of youhave wondered if you are a Hutt. Well, if you like
watching enslaved Twi'leks dance while you eat a frog in a Naboo
Starfighter, then you just might be a Hutt. [applause] Very
good. Jabba the Foxworthy. All right. Our next
rejected Star Wars character is named Lamb Vindaloo, an Indian
restaurant entree that has turned to the darkside. Rejected
character's devotion to the evil Empire is matched only by his love of
mainstream country music. Please, welcome Darth Brooks
[applause] ♪ Oh, I'm drinking my way to the darkside some
day I'll even fight my own son Luke, it's hard to remember Yoda's
teachings when you wake up every morning in your puke [laughter,
applause] CONAN: Very nice! I can hear his ... [Darth Vader
breathing] ...He comes from
the planet... [laughter] all right. In his latest Star Wars
movie, George Lucas wanted to make a tougher, meaner version of
the robot R2-D2. He wanted to toughen R2-D2 up, by combining him
with a badass TV icon of the 1980's. It didn't quite work, he cut
him out of the film. But here he is anyway, R2Mr.T2
[laughter]
[23] 1999
Now, folks,
you don't have to be a science fiction fan to hate this next character.
Say hello to Bar-Bar Glinks, the new Star Wars character that's even
more annoying than Jar-Jar Binks.
[24]
5/21/05
We've got a really fine show
tonight. We have a lot of cool stuff we're going to do. I mentioned over
there the new "star wars" film to a less than thrilled crowd,
but we are -- it's hard to believe we have less than one week away from
the Official opening of the final "star wars" movie, "Star
wars, episode iii: revenge of the sith." I
have no idea what that title means. I didn't even know the Sith
was angry at us. [ Laughter ] I don't even know what a Sith
is, but the Sith, apparently, is getting its
revenge in this movie so, ooh, watch out.
[ Laughter ] but If you're a
fan of the "star wars" franchise, this is a huge deal,
especially If you like to collect "star wars" action figures,
right? These things are huge. Action figures have always meant a lot to
"star wars" fans and some of the collectibles, over the years,
are now Worth thousands of dollars. People collect these things, they
trade them and you can get, I think, some of them go for tens of thousands
of dollars. For this last movie, for the very first time -- this is kind
of cool -- the producers have created a whole new line of action figures.
That's
right! They're action figures of Star Wars fans themselves
[laughter] yeah, you know the fanatics, the weirdoes who camp out in
front of the theatre a week before it opens? They've made action
figures of those people, and these incredible collectibles have
been kept under wraps. You know how secretive Lucas is, and the
Star Wars people. No one gets to see these until we came
along. We managed to get a hold of these action figures.
We're gonna show them tonight. We're gonna get in a lot of
trouble, but we're going to do it. Here they are, the new Star
Wars fans action figures! [Star Wars them music and cheers]
I hate to brag, but, that's a huge special effect. [laughter] we can
make words come up and go away, but to have words go like that?
All right. Let's look at some of these. These are really
good. These are beautifully made. Here's the first Star Wars
fan action figure. Take a look. It's Morbly Obeseus, this is
the guy waiting in line in a homemade outfit [laughter] and look at the
craftsmanship.
Here's a guy right here. This is going
to be worth a lot of money, so hang on to this. This is a
character known as "idiota" - the guy who dressed up as
Jar-Jar Binks and got his ass kicked. [laughter, applause]
complete with violent bruising. Internal hemorrhaging is
also available for extra money. And then, finally, there's this
character right here, called "anonymous." It's the
die-hard fan who's embarrassed to be seen in line [laughter] he's got a
little hood on, and look, as an added feature, you can pull the hood
back and actually look at him '[laughter, applause] of course, look what
happens when this guy tries to go to her (another figure.)
This next one, highly collectible and
rare. This is "Lovelatch," one of the few female Star
Wars fans. [laughter] there she is. There's not many of
them. They've only made a few of these because there really aren't
that many female Star Wars fans, but look at this - this is an added
feature. Beautiful attention to detail. Look what happens
when she tries to approach this guy in line. It's
fascinating. She's
not interested. [laughter] it's all very sad. Well, there they are -
the Star Wars fans action figures. Collect all seven! [cheers and
applause] [Star Wars theme music]
[25] 5/21/05 Conan:
that's about it? I paid you $500 and that's all you found out? >>
Okay. Truth is I had to tail someone else around last night. >>
Conan: wait a minute. Someone else hired you? >> Oh, yeah. I did,
pal, I had him follow you and take some great pictures. As a matter of
fact, here you are stealing from the tip jar at Starbucks. [ Laughter ]
here you are pouring some whiskey on your cornflakes there. Oh, this is
my favorite. You've gone to see the new "star wars" movie
dressed as Princess Leia. [26]
6/15/05 "Late
night guest autographs" Twelve minutes into the show. CONAN:
George Lucas, man, George Lucas, the director, the creator of the Star
Wars franchise. He was on the show. That was a great
show. Let's see what he wrote: 'Conan, you're the biggest nerd
I've ever seen, and I'm George Lucas' CONAN: That's not
funny. [27] 6/25/05
Guest
is Ethan Hawke. CONAN: Any "star wars"
fans here? [cheers and applause] all right, then. Oh, yeah, you can
tell. [ Laughter...then in nerdy voice] "mmmm, hooray! Mmmm !"
[ Laughter ] what am I doing? What am I doing? Like I'm such a jock, you
know? [ Laughter] who am I, but yet I do. I can't help it.
No, this week George Lucas was given the American Film Institute's
"Lifetime Achievement Award." Good.
[applause] Thanks good. That's very nice. Yeah.
Not only that, not only that, C3PO was given a "Lifetime
Achievement Award" by "Gay Robot Magazine." [laughter)
very narrow-focus magazine. And then, I think this is the
strangest quote of the week but in a new interview Billy Bob Thornton
said that having sex with Angelina Jolie was like having sex with a
couch. CONAN to ETHAN: now, I don't want to get in
trouble with you. I was sort o f making fun of "star
wars" a little bit in the monologue area.
But were you -- you're a big "star wars"
fan, is that right? ETHAN: Yeah, yea h, I am. You
know, I was -- I'm peak, you know. I was 7-years-old when the first one
came out. And so I've now -- have you seen the new CONAN:
no, I have not seen the new one yet. CONAN: thanks, buddy. Great,
great . So Darth Vader's bad? [laughter] ETHAN: yeah.
CONAN: OH . ETHAN: But, yeah , I've been obsessed with
the whole thing. I feel there 's a certain peace in my life now that
it's come to a conclusion. CONAN: but do you, now, do you think that's
really it for the Star Wars franchise, though? I think -- so much money,
they're just going to say, "oh, wait, he didn't die, that guy, he's
come back." You know? [ Laughter ] he ate a come-back-to-life pill
or something. [laughter] [28] May
4, 2005 During a skit featuring Rune Haako
and Nute Gunray (Conan's actors in costumes), Conan is asking questions
of the audience (obvious plants), the audience guy says, "and then
those two guys should have a lightsaber battle on a catwalk."
CONAN Um, again, that would be a copyright infringement, Lucas
lawyers would eat us alive.." "...Rune Haako...let's go
back to the scene and see what Rune actually did..."
"ACTION!" RUNE (singing): Hey, I'd rather be
a chicken than a turkey like you! Now, everyone join in!
CONAN: That was a great. Well, folks if you love that, you're
gonna love the new Star Wars movie. It's the same.
Craig Kilborn
<Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn>(2002) - [1]
Today I found out that my Jedi
Stormtrooper helmet is waterproof. It wasn't raining, my head was shoved
into a toilet. I drove by one theater today and "Star Wars"
was playing and all the people in line were dressed up like Star Wars
characters. Then I drove by another theater where "Spider-Man"
was playing and the people were dressed up like Spider-Man. Then I drove
by the theater where "Unfaithful" was playing and the people
were dressed like Bill Clinton. [2] Kilborn's
"In The News" skit 7/28/04.
He makes mention of the title, some of the audience members chuckled and
snickered and he added that the title was going to be, "...Yet
Another Disappointment" (more laughing). At another point
Kilborn is summarizing the film and at the bottom of the screen the
words, "Jedi Dork Alert!" flash. They
interview "Vader" and Kilborn questions him about the title,
"do you like the title?" Vader replies, "Craig, I
am your father." Craig: "heh heh, you're Darth
Vader, now tell me what you think of the title.." Vader:
"But I am your father. Your mother was really into Star Wars
and we had a one night stand at a Comfort Inn" (laughter)
Craig: "I'm totally shocked by this, why are you telling me
now? and why do you wear that mask?" Vader: "Because I'm
embarrassed that you're my son." (laughter)
D
Daily
Show, The (US Com News) - [1]A
'news' piece on a magic stunt performed by a magician where he freezes
himself in a block of ice. Jon Stewart says, "...at -22 degrees you
begin to wonder if Lando Calrissian is really your friend" (picture
of Solo in Carbonite) [2]
Jon Stewart says, "Anywhere between XXXXLVI and XXXLVIII old, and
damn it, Luke Skywalker's aunt and uncle are still dead." The
picture is of Owen and Beru's homestead seen through the water. [3]
Feb 2001 -
Instead of showing the NEAR Probes landing on an asteroid footage. They
showed the Falcon blasting out of the mouth of the Asteroid/Worm in TESB. [4] Referring
to cloning title "The Clone Wars" and [5]
Stewart called 'Battlefield
Earth', '...a cross between Star Wars and the smell of as*' [6]
Correspondent Matt Walsh was doing a piece on Osama Bin Laden's mountain
fortress and Stewart asked him if there were any weaknesses. Walsh
replied that there was a small thermal exhaust port just above the main
port. The graphic changed from USA Today's graphic of the fortress to
that of the war room on Yavin as Walsh explained that a hit directly
into the shaft would blow up the death star. Back at the desk, Stewart,
said "Matt, that's impossible!" Walsh dead-pan replied,
"It's not impossible, I used to bull's-eye Womp rats in my T-16
back home!" (thanks to Darth Malt!) [7]
Jan 15, 2004 Jon
Stewart discusses Enron again, Chewco (named after Chewbacca, of
course.) Jon Stewart jokes about the company making money by misstating
the amount of parsecs to make the Kessel Run.
Dennis Miller
(US Comedy) - Mar
18, 2004
Reporting on Pakistan and al Qaeda targets. He tried to pronounce,
"Ayman al-Zawahiri" a few times. He gives up and says,
"Man, did George Lucas name everyone in that country?"
Disney's
Imagineer That (US ED) - An
engineer explains gravity. The title is 'May the Force Be With You'. At
the end of the 5 minute piece the engineer says, 'May the Force Be With
You!'
Distration (US
2005) - [1] Bert
(contestant) is getting tossed around by a wrestler, Jimmy Carr (host):
Name the first movie to feature R2-D2 and C-3PO. Bert: Star Wars [2]
2/28/06 One
of the questions asked while the contestants were pelted in the face
with ping-pong balls: :"What Star Wars character did Ewan McGregor
play?" The answer, which the contestant Ted did not get, was
'Obi-Wan Kenobi' [3]
3/28/06
While asking questions for the contestants,
they each had to put their head through a ping-pong table and had
ping-pong balls fired at their face. -
Jimmy Carr (Host): "Star Wars character Darth Vader cut off the
hand of which hero with a lightsaber?" Eli (contestant):
"Uh, Luke Skywalker." [4] -
Jimmy Carr (Host): "What Steven Spielberg movie hero likes to use a
whip, but hates snakes?" Fran (contestant): "Um, uh..
Indiana Jones." (Thanks
to John at Obroa-Skai for these references!)
Double Dare (US
GS) - Question
June 2000:
How many Star Wars films have been released?
Dragonfly TV (US ) - Curling;
hovercraft; how to practice hockey moves without ice. My
name's Sara, and I'm the mad genius behind all of Rachel's crazy
schemes. Well, I got the idea of the Hovercraft from the "star
wars" movie where they had like, the pod
races and I thought it would be like, really fun to see If I could build
one of those.
E
Eat Bulaga (2003
Filipino Game) -
[1] Luban
O Bawi segment the question to the contestant was: (loose translation)
Who is the most notable sci-fi director in Hollywood? Clue:
"George" and "He also directed Star Wars" the
contestants' answer was George Javier. (Thanks to StompboXX for this
reference!) [2]
8/2/03 Stop the Clock segment, question: "Ano ang title ng Star
Wars Episode I?" (What was the title of Star Wars Episode I?) And
Rez Cortez answered, "Star Wars!" [3]
Laban O Bawi
segment: Question: "Anong pelikula ang nagsisimula sa sentence na A
long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.?" (Which movie has the
sentence, A long time ago...?) And no one was able to answer it! (Thanks
to hat_tr1ck for #2 & #3)
Elimidate - [1]
4/2/05
One date recounts: I
have different sides that they're gonna find out about [deep breathing,
as Darth Vader] Howie, you could be our father. That's awesome,
dude! ... Well, Kimberly, you have some pressure on your - on your
side now. You have to decide between... //You're using the Force
too much// The Padawan who will never become a Jedi or a fully
established and accomplished Jedi Knight. //Darth Vader//
I've never talked so much about Star Wars on the first date, and I hope
that I never will again //Who will the Force be with? The
final cut is next!// [2]
4/12/05A
guy is very into Star Wars on a date in Miami, FL. Excerpts: Howie,
what do you do for a living that you know so much? >> I'm a
pharmaceutical Sales rep. >> Did you say a Farmer? >>
Farmer? Well, young Luke was a Farmer before he became a Jedi. >>
And reality sets in. >> Would you let me talk, little boy?
>> You've been talkin' all day! >> But I love Star Wars, you
know? My goal is to ultimately, I think I have the ability to become a
Jedi one day. I got a lightsaber, I got a Yoda
doll, I watch the Star Wars movies all the time. [as Yoda] The
Force is not strong with him, obviously. You have plenty of
wisdom. Yes, Buddha, you very much do because you're also Yoda,
you see. >> Today's the first day of the rest of my life,
and the best is yet to come. >>The first day of the rest of your
life? What have you done with your life? >> I've
learned to know enough that you don't get great, big, thick builds like
this just workin' out eatin' potato chips. >>No, but you're the
one braggin' about where the beef is. Aren't you the one that's so
powerful.>>Bigger isn't better.>>All-knowing and
wise?>>Look at master Yoda. he's knockin' everybody down,
and he's half their size. >>And weren't you crackin' on my size
earlier? So, what does that mean, I'm master Yoda now, and you're
my Jedi Knight? He just keeps talking about Star Wars.
"I am Yoda. Hello." >>Can Yoda help
Howie?>>My boy Jon has a lot to learn about the knowledge of the
Force. That's why I'm gonna use an old Jedi Mind Trick on him, and
that's why I'm gonna be leaving with Kim when nightfall is over.
Enemy Within,
The (2002 UK) -
Q: What was the
name of the Wookiee that owed smuggler Han Solo, a life debt?
A: Chewbacca
Q: In the 1977
Star Wars film, what was the name of the actress that played Princess
Leia Organa?
A: Carrie Fisher
Q: Anakin
Skywalker was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force to become which
character?
A: Darth Vader
Entertainment
Tonight (US TV) -
TV Guide reviewer compared Hannibal to Star Wars
E-Search Party
(US game) -
Featured numerous clues to Star Wars, as it was a celebrity/film
scavenger hunt. One of the clues referenced Han Solo, with the final
answer being Star Wars itself. The question was answered by co
host/participator Carol Grow.
F
Family Feud (US
GS) - [1]
Name
something people know about Luke Skywalker: MPA's (Most Popular Answers)
1. From Star Wars 2. Darth Vader's Son 3. Was a Jedi Knight 4. Uses the
Force 5.Uses a lightsaber 6. Leia's brother [2] Name something people
know about Darth Vader: MPA's 1. Luke's Father 2. On Star Wars 3. Went
to the Darkside 4. James Earl Jones 5. Wears Black 6. Wears a helmet 7.
Uses a lightsaber
Fear Factor (US
GS) - [1] The
host asks a contestant, Derek, what his thoughts were, Derek's answer,
'You know when Luke Skywalker is supposed to blow up the Death Star at
the end of the first movie? ...and Obi-Wan tells him to turn off his
targeting computer, and Luke does that? Well, that's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna play Luke Skywalker" [2] Jason said he would have to
"go Jedi" in order to make it to the next round. He got thrown
after 3.8 seconds (the second slowest in the group). The only person he
beat was the former Miss Rhode Island. And he only beat her time by .4
seconds. [3] 2/1/05
Whoo! Whoo-Hoo!
18 feet, 5 inches. Dude, check you out. See, you were all
worried, but it turned out that you are the one in the lead. All
right, Derek. Let's get you laced up. What I'm thinking
about, actually, watching everyone else - feels like Luke Skywalker at
the end of the first "Star Wars" when he turns off the
computer and just goes with the Force and when to drop into the
generator to blow up the Death Star. [4]
4/22/05 Rogan:
Jason, how are you feeling, man? Typically, I'm not known for my flow in
bmx racing. There's no pedals on a bull, my man. I'm gonna have to find
the flow somehow. I'm gonna have to get Jedi or
something. Let's go, Jedi. Let's do it.
Fox and Friends (US) - [1]
4/22/05
Weathercast...incorrectly
states..."All right. On this Friday getaway, it's dry out
West. Great day in Tucson, 86° 58° in Colorado
Springs. Dry and nice for the most part. It dropped a foot
of snow in the higher elevations of the Rockies. 50's, 60's, 70's
in the mid part of the Plains. Houston, it will be a wet
one. Wet as well in Minneapolis, where I understand they're having
a big Star Wars festival. (duh) [2]
5/18/05 Steve:
sith is right after Fife. No, you know what, you could actualitily do a
little studying. I'm not going to look. But what would sith mean?
>> A set of rogue Jedi who use the dark
side of the force for personal gain. How's that? >> That was the
answer I was looking for. A round of applause. You're going to the movie
tonight at midnight. Congratulations. >> Thanks. Steve: buy her
popcorn because the movie is free.
G
Globe Trekker ()
- Indonesia:
Bali and Sulawesi 12/27/04 Near
the end of the show:
So I'm always curious where you find the pieces. In my mind I have this
romantic vision that you are, you know, scouring the Hills of southern
China and a little old lady comes and says, "come here, my pretty,
I have something To show you." Yes, we did. Really? Yes! Priscilla,
Indiana Jones of
Chinese antiques. Wow... Exactly. Exactly what you said. McCormick: who
is going to play you in the movie? (Both laughing) McCormick: the
special economic zone of Shenzhen is just across the Chinese Border from
the new territories.
Greed (1999 GS)
- A question:
"Betsy Ross, Santa Claus, and Darth Vader have all been which of
the following candy dispensers: Skittles , M & Ms, or PEZ. Well, the
correct answer is PEZ, and the guy got it right.
Ground Force
(1998 UK Garden) -
At the end of an episode says, "May the Ground Force be with
you"
H
Hannity &
Colmes (US) - ALAN:
Finally tonight, at midnight the latest Star Wars movie will hit the
theaters. Some very dedicated fans have been lined up to see
it. That gave them a lot of time to play Stormtrooper and talk
politics. You've taken your first step into a larger world!
[Star Wars theme plays] George Bush, the Force is with him.
I don't think you can deny the similarity between Emperor Palpatine's
regime and the Bush administration. ..I would compare the Bush
administration to the Palpatine administration. I think Cheney is
the emperor. ...I could do a Jedi mind trick on
dick Cheney I'd turn him into a lib R5789 Yoda probably would have voted
for Ralph nader. >> I like to think Yoda is a smart Guy so he
would have voted for George Bush. >> Howard Dean and Chewbacca?
Howard >> Chu Backa. Howard Dean. Sounds more like he's in
pain than Chewbacca. If disputes were - If disputes were settled
with lightsabers it would be really cool. Everyone's kind of old
so I don't think they would have the accuracy down. If Hannity and
Colmes got into a saber duel, I'd give it to Colmes. He appears to
be the underdog but that's the nature of the Force, to be hidden and
come out. Lightsaber? I think Sean Hannity has it. I
think they would both lose. They'd cut their heads off because
they're reckless. ALAN: That's fair and balanced, right? We
both lose. SEAN: I challenge you. Pay-Per-View!
Hollywood
Showdown (1999 US GS) -
Q: Which one of the following characters has appeared in all the Star
Wars movies? a) R2D2 b) Yoda c) Luke Skywalker
Hollywood
Squares (1998 US GS) -
Final Q: Even though people call the first movie just plain 'Star Wars',
what is the actual name for the first Star Wars movie? A's: A) Rebellion
B) A New Hope C) Turmoil in the Stars (contestant answered correctly)
I
In a Fix (US) - Now
and Zen At one point a
guy says, "We're dealing with Star Wars here, right? Whip out
the lightsaber and we're good to go." and towards the end of
the show, "It's like a lightsaber, we did it, huh? That's
pretty bad ass"
INDY 500 -
(a Star Warsian slip) What the announcer wanted to say, '..last time a
rookie won...' What came out was, "The last time a Wookiee won
before that..." he paused...then went with it, "Yes, Chewbacca
won the race in 1972"
In The Wild (US
1998 Animal Planet) - 3
series special. Actress Holly Hunter goes in search of the Cheetah in
Africa. In her quest she encounters a Cheetah named Chewbacca...the
Cheetah had been orphaned as a cub and brought to conservationist Laurie
Marker-Krause who then raised the cub into adulthood.
Inside Edition
(US 1988) - Laser
procedures: Hanna
Storm will undergo a dramatic new procedure to remove the birthmark.
" It's really "star wars"
stuff you see the lasers, the laser just zaps you."
Inside the
Actor's Studio (US 1994 bio) -
Robin Williams (#7.14)
6/10/01 Robin Williams guests. Q: How was Mork born? A: 'Marshall's kid saw Star
Wars and thought there should be an alien on Happy Days' On artificial
Intelligence in real life: 'What computers have done, the internet and
movies...now the last Star Wars (ref to TPM )
Inside Schwartz
(US 2001) - Julie:
"Yah, my dad felt so sorry for me he offered to pay your half of
the rent till I get back on my feet." Shwartz: "Hey, half of
that is mine." Julie: "Welcome to the Darkside, Luke."
Iron Chef, The (
2001 Cooking) - music
from 'Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire' soundtrack [1]
Imperial City [2]
Destruction of Xizor's Palace used in the opening sequence of the 21st
century special on the Food Network (interesting to note here that in
Japan they used Star Trek music) the competition was between Bobby Flay
and Morimoto Masaharu.
It's Your Chance
of a Lifetime (US 2000 GS) - Q:
In the 'Empire Strikes Back', what swamp-dwelling creature does Frank Oz
do the voice for?
J
Jakers! The
Adventures of Piggly Winks - Extra!
Extra! Host: I had
never seen him before, and he was frowning. Then he started
talking. His voice was really deep, and I thought he sounded
really mean like Darth Vader or something. I was sure it was gonna
be a horrible year, but you know what? It wasn't horrible. It was
great.
Jeff Corwin
Experience, The (US 2001) -
[1] Jeff was showing and describing a small green frog. Jeff likened the
frog to a mini-Yoda, holding the frog up to the camera and saying,
"Luke, you will go to Endor" in his best Yoda voice. [2]
The Amazon: Goin'
Bananas 5/17/05 Showing
a Monkey Frog, Jeff says, "Ok, something else that's really cool
about this creature, is its mouth has that jabba
the Hutt look to it. Yes, looks like jabba the
Hutt, but that mouth is very functional in acquiring its prey because it
will just sit there and it will wait for food to come by, such as a
small fish or a frog."
Jeopardy (US GS)
- [1]
Category:
Warriors / Answer: 'Luke had to use the Force to become one of these
warriors' / Question: 'Who are the Jedi?' [2]
Category: Name
that Flick / Answer: 1977, 'You came in that thing? You're braver than I
thought' / Question: What is Star Wars? (the contestant gave the answer
Annie Hall...which was up for best picture with Star Wars at the 1978
Oscars) [3]
2001
Tournament of Champions - Category: Robot Mania / Answer: 'This shiny
astromech droid from Naboo met his counterpart during a sandstorm' /
Question: 'What/Who is R2D2? [4] Category
titled "Star Wars Characters" The clues in the category
were:
$400 - She is
Luke Skywalker's twin sister.
$800 - These two
Droids were the only witnessed to Anakin and Padmé's marriage.
$1200 - The
sounds used for this Wookiees voice came from Camel, bears, ...
$1600 - Ahmed
Best was the voice for this character.
$2000 - This
Bounty Hunter was a clone of his father in AOTC.
[5]
Category "Star Wars Trivia" The Millennium Falcon was modeled
after a burger with an olive next to it
[6]
November 8, 2004
Jeopardy unveils the Star Wars category as a single movie (not
often done). [7] December
2004 Star Wars category
Double Jeopardy - Luke, R2D2, Chewbacca, Stormtrooper, Anthony Daniels
C3PO for $2000.
[8] 1/11/05 Film
Criticism ...What is "Annie Hall"? Film criticism, $600.
What is "star wars"?
Film criticism for $800.. [9]1/15/05 Chris
Miller (Star Wars fan) was a contestant/champion [10]
4/23/05 Tom,
start us. Let's do MOVIE Villains for $400. Who is Darth
Vader? [11] March
2005? During Alex
Trebek's chat with the players, one of the contestants told a story
about how he had played against another contestant once, and then played
against the same person a second time in a "Jeopardy!"
tournament. Referring to his repeat encounter with the same contestant,
he paraphrased, "When I left you I was but the learner, now I am
the master." (Thanks
to KJ for this reference!) [12]
October 13, 2005 Kids
Week
$400 - Five of
the movies were Rated PG and Revenge of the Sith was Rated this.
$600 - Luke was
originally called Starkiller but it was changed to this.
$800 - In
the first movies he was a puppet but the last two movies he was made
from CGI.
$1000 - There
were the only two characters to appear in all six movies.
$2000 - Sam
Jackson insisted he have a purple lightsaber when he played this
character.
Jeopardy (Danish
GS) - [1] Category:
Star Wars Answer: This is the Danish translation of Star Wars Question:
What is 'Stjernekrigen'? Answer: This man wrote the, so far, 4 Star wars
movies and directed 2 of them. Question: Who is George Lucas? Answer:
This is the name of Luke Skywalker's father with the heavy breathing.
Question: Who is Darth Vader? Answer: This one of Han Solo's droids
looks like an old vacuum cleaner Question: Who/What is R2D2? (funny, I
didn't know Han Solo owned R2...hehe) Answer: This classic British actor
played Obi-Wan Kenobi in the first movie from 1977 Question: Who is Alec
Guinness? (though, WE know he was in all three) [2]
2005 Categories
(word play only): May the Force be with You; The Empire Strikes Back;
Star Wars (Thanks to
Outbound Sith for this reference!)
Jimmy Kimmel Live
(US 2003) - 1/31/05
Everyone's
excited about the release of the new Star Wars movie. Word is,
this one is going to be a lot more intense than the others. May
even get a PG-13. Which would be a first. All the other
films were rated PG. Producers say it's going to be darker and
meaner than all the other films. You can see what they're talking
about from this exclusive clip we got off the internet. [laughter]
son of a b**ch! [laughter' Jimmy: wow, I knew the Empire was evil, but,
keying another man's car, it's too much!
[2] 2/2/05
One of Jimmy's guests
is Chewbacca: JIMMY: Our next guest tonight is best known for his role
as Han Solo's loveable and shaggy sidekick in the original Star Wars
trilogy, which was just released on DVD today. There it is.
He's the Wookiee without a cause. The co-pilot of the Millennium
Falcon, and one heck of a hairy sidekick - please say hello to
Chewbacca, everybody! (cheers and applause) // Can I call you Chewie?
[laughter] //Is
that right? I didn't know you were a part of that. I know you're a
happily married Wookiee now but back in the day, when Star Wars
was, you know- - you were quite a player, weren't you? //
Jimmy goes on to ask Chewbacca questions including: 'What's the deal
with C3P0?
[3] 3/2/05
Jimmy does a sort of
Star Wars fan dating game thing with 3 fanboys, partial excerpts:
>> I'd say Darth
Vader. >> JIMMY: Darth
Vader. Why is that? >> I'm tall. Dark. I
-- when you turn on my light Saber, it gets red and long. [ Cheers and
applause] >> all right. >> JIMMY: very Clever. Bachelor
number two, same question, bachelor number two. >> BACHELOR #2: Hi
there, Sarah. I would most likely be Lando Calrissian in bed. Like
Lando, I've got a nice mustache. I'm also dark. And I'm a smooth
operator from the clouds. >> Jimmy: oh, very nice. >> Okay.
>> Jimmy: and bachelor number three, Brian. >> BACHELOR #3
(Brian): I would have to say I'd be like Yoda. Because -- [ laughter ]
Yoda's got 900 years of experience. And, you know, like you said -- size
matters not. >> JIMMY: there you go. All right. Very
well-answered. Let's move on to question number two. All excellent
answers so far. Sarah, go ahead. >> All right. So -- >>
JIMMY: bachelor number two. >> Bachelor number two? Let's see
here. Let's say I'm the death star. And you're an X-Wing fighter. How
would you get past my defenses? >> JIMMY: very good question.
>> BACHELOR #2 (Marvin): That's a real challenging question. But
in real life, I don't think it would be too big of a challenge. I would
come straight in. My wingmen would be at my side. But I wouldn't
need them after a while. And once I'm in your trench, I'd shoot my two
Proton torpedoes and I'd be in, baby. >> JIMMY: there you go.
Thank you, Marvin. [ Cheers and applause ] bachelor number three.
>> Okay. >> JIMMY: Sarah's the death star. You're an X-Wing
fighter. How do you get past her defenses? >> I wouldn't Zip in so
quickly. I'd take it easy. I'd take each of the Gun Towers at a time.
You know? Take my time. bachelor number three. >> Okay....
[4] Jimmy
also says, Hitchhiker (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) fans are
crazier than Star Wars, Star Trek And Clay
Aiken fans combined" [4] 03/02/05 Robbie
I absolutely right. You know what? If they put it back on the air, he'll
swear off internet porn forever. Deal? Deal? ...Darth
Vader's right. "Star trek" is the funniest
show on TV
[5] 5/8/05
Jimmy talks about/to
Jeff Tweiten (standing in line for Star Wars in Seattle) [6]
2/14/05 Fozzie
bear is a guest: Jimmy: that's the way it go, tough Town. We...I
think have the tape of when you and some other people auditioned for
star wars. Role the Tape! JIMMY: Fozzie Bear. FOZZY: Mighty Jedi
master is he. He is mighty Jedi master. Yoda,
Yoda! Hey, Yoda! Strong is him the forces - is this
supposed to be like this? Next. These don't go
together. That's all right. You're the Jedi master,
Yoda. Thank you, no. Thank you. I could be taller,
okay? Next. Unbelievable. Too much talking, not enough
waaka-waaka, yeah? No. [cheers and applause] You thought it
was good, right? I was good, wasn't I? JIMMY: yeah, it was
good. [7] 5/7/05
Jimmy mentions a supervisor and what he
should do for his employee, "If supervisor doesn't make him a Jedi
knight after that, I don't know what it's going to take." [8]
5/18/05 Jimmy:
you're not going away empty-handed, either. You're going to take home
tonight a frozen TV dinner. [ Cheers and applause ] and now, the moment
you've been waiting for, he's making his way across the Street. I
imagine he's going to scoop you up in his arms and take you back to the
apartment where he still lives with his mother. [ Laughter ] here he is,
your Jedi knight in shining armor, Han is Solo,
the force is with him and now you will be, too. [9]
5/24/05 Guest
Judge Joe Brown. JIMMY: Great to meet you. Have a seat. You're not
wearing your Robe. BROWN: You mean the Bat cape?
JIMMY: yeah. BROWN: Sometimes I feel like Darth Vader. Oh, the
dark side of the force is strong in this one. But anyway -- JIMMY: you
are not with the dark side. BROWN: No.
JIMMY: you are with the Jedi and the Law. Is it
really the Law you follow? BROWN: Yeah, it's the law. Not just the
mood that day. [10] 6/1/05
JIMMY: So, anyway, there's so many products
out there. There's action figures, there's figures, there's these
Princess Leia cinnamon head rolls. [laughter] I don't know if you've
seen them in the store. There's so many things. Let's see
what else we have here. Oh, this is something. The Chewbacca
home pregnancy test. [laughter] you got - actually, pull out the -
[laughter] it's a girl. See what else we have here. Oh, this is
nice. Sometimes actually - nice for the summer Boba Foot Powder.
[laughter] and they don't get better from there really/ We got
this Darth Vader asthma inhaler thing. [laughter] All right,
and we got these tissues, which we really didn't mark at all. And
- oh! This is something special, actually. This is great for
like a camping trip or something. It's the Taun-Taun intestine
sleeping bag. Let me show you how this works. A lot of sleep
bags, you'll get cold, especially novelty ones. This one is nice,
it keeps you very warm because the inside is full of all disgusting
animal intestines. [audience groans] yeah, that's
nice. Can come in handy for your 40-year-old virgins, too.
All right, very good. [cheers and applause] I shouldn't have thrown the
tissues away. <<Use the powder. Use the powder>>
[11] 6/4/05
No
adult person should Camp outside a movie theater. But, they're not all
nerds. They're not all weirdos. They're just people who saw Star Wars when
they were kids. They fell in love with it. They're perfectly normal
people, like you and me and this woman.WOMAN FAN: My favorite part, I'd
have to say when Yoda decides to be awesome. He's always awesome. But just
a couple parts when like -- yes! Yoda! [ Cheers and applause ] JIMMY: very
popular in line. The Sad thing is, that's her real skin. [ Laughter ]
whether you like Star Wars Or not, it's everywhere you turn the
conservative estimate right now is that on average, every person on the
planet will have seen it 8.2 Times by the end of the Summer. The good
news, I guess, is, people seem to lead..do you have a job? FAN: I'm
actually currently unemployed. And -- but I saw the movie. And If you're
watching this, you didn't. /
There was a fight after the Star Wars premiere last night. This is an
e-mail, actually, one of the young ladies, Molly got from her friend.
John. He said he saw the 12:01 showing. Guys were getting clocked. Guys
were laying on the Street. And then this Guy, John, called 911. So, you
can see the showdowns are not just reserved for the Jedi and the Sith. It
happens everywhere. That's a Hell of a thing to fight over. /
The big news, of course, in Hollywood, is Star Wars, It's Star Wars it's
Star Wars. A lot of other things going on. Here to tell us about all those
things, a man who eats, sleeps and dreams about Hollywood. This is
Guillermo, with Guillermo's Hollywood Roundup. Hello, Guillermo?
GUILLERMO: Hi, Jimmy. JIMMY: Did you see Star Wars? GUILLERMO: Yes, Jimmy.
When I was a kid. JIMMY: oh, yeah? Which one did you see? GUILLERMO: The
first one, Jimmy. JIMMY: which is your favorite Star Wars character?
GUILLERMO: Oh, my favorite -- R 2 d 2000 Jimmy. JIMMY: that's the --
that's the robot full of salsa, right? GUILLERMO: Yes, Jimmy. You know why
I like him? JIMMY: why do you like him? GUILLERMO: Because he's round and
short like me. He makes funny noises, Jimmy. JIMMY: there you go.
Journal
Editorial Report (US ) - 4/22/05
Kofi Annan's friends
have told Tom either shape up or someone is going to ship him out so, we
have a hearing about this. Have you heard aboiut any of these
issues? About reforming the United Nations? No.
Instead what we've heard is that John Bolton is incapable of using a
finger bolt or wearing a tux or bowing and kissing ladies' hands and
he's been sent out there to try to reform a place that's being run like
the Star Wars bar.
Junkyard Wars
(US/UK GS) - [1]
members of one
team are chanting 'Ya- do, Ya- do' in ref to ROTJ's Ewok chant to C3PO [2]
stuff like: 'Use the Force'
K
L
Last Call with
Carson Daly - 3/10/05
Do you know
about Kerry coming out here? Kerry Konrad coming from new York.
>> I do. I'm aware of his work. >> Carson: yes. Are you
upset with this man? >> No. >> Carson: no? >> I
think he's great. [ Laughter ] I actually do respect him. I know they
don't normally know the story, but I respect him in the way you Admire
an evil villain. Like -- >> Carson: all right, we'll bring out Darth
Vader in just a second. [ Cheers and applause
] Rob Corddry's gonna hang out. We'll be right back with Yankees fan
Kerry Konrad.
Late, Late
Show (US Chat) - THE
NEWS: [1] "...and
now for news out of the country named for Luke Skywalker's Aunt: Today
out of Peru..." [2]
'George W. Bush appointed three top scientists to help out with his
new Star wars mille defense plan; Luke Skywalker, Han Solo and
Chewbacca" (complete with pictures of all three)
Late Show with
Craig Kilborn, The (2001) -
10/3/01
Johnny Depp dressed as a Stormtrooper and never took the mask off.
Letterman (late
night US) - [1]
"Star
Wars" in its first weekend made, like, $2 billion. Well, it turns
out now that it didn't make as much as what they first thought – thank
you, Arthur Andersen! [2]
Do you have
Star Wars fever? It's one of those things where you try to hold back,
then when it gets here you can't help yourself. Here's an example.
President Clinton has Star Wars fever. He was up at his house in
Chappaqua and was using The Force on an intern. [3]
Bill Murray
spoofs Star Wars merchandisin
